


x doesn't always mark the spot

by putsch



Category: Haikyuu!!, 弱虫ペダル | Yowamushi Pedal
Genre: Challenge: Sports Anime Shipping Olympics | SASO 2015, Multi, Space Pirate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putsch/pseuds/putsch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the SASO2015 Bonus Round prompt:<br/>Kuroo/Daichi/Sugawara and Arakita/Shinkai/Kinjou are rival space pirates who both get the same map to a hidden treasure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	x doesn't always mark the spot

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies for how rough it got at the end, but I was trying to finish it up before the BR2 deadline and really rushed it. I may edit it later so the ending flows better, but... not right now.
> 
> Also apologies how this turned more into some kind of Leverage/Firefly au... but that's close to space pirates right?!  
> 

"Are you _sure_ this map is legitimate?"  
  
"You two are hurting my feelings." Kuroo huffed, sounding a lot more hurt than he felt. If anything, he shared the sentiment - maps won through back room poker games, especially in a port station like Delta Rae, could easily be faked. But that guy he won it from sounded convinced of it's worth, and had put it down to take the place of quite the sum. Plus, the map included not only a specific location on a secluded planet, but also a fairly detailed map of the building itself. It seemed legitimate enough.  
  
Daichi sighed, running his hand through short cropped hair as Suga leaned over the comm dash, still inspecting the map. The cockpit of the Aegis felt smaller with all three of them crowded in it, but when private captain matters needed to be discussed this was the best place for it. The mess hall left it too open for other nosy members of the crew to butt in, and their shared captain bedroom, well. That was a distraction of a whole other kind.  
  
"Just what kind of treasure was this for again?" Suga asked, fingers running over the lines of the map's grid.  
  
"The guy didn't say."  
  
"He probably didn't know because it doesn't exist." Daichi quipped, annoyed, but it hardly dampered Kuroo's smirk. Daichi had that excitement of a new adventure, a new job, and money lurking in his eyes. Kuroo and Suga knew him too well to miss it. All they needed was to give him a little bit of a push in the right direction.  
  
"If it wasn't real, why not make up some tale about what it is, like a vault of gold or rare seeds, even high end medication could make it worth while." Suga replied, sitting up from his position over the map. "I can get us here in what, 25 hours? 30 tops. It can't hurt to check."  
  
Kuroo grinned - Suga was the best navigator in the quadrant, no, probably in the whole damn universe. Places that would be too risky to go or would take too long for others was nothing in the Aegis with Suga guiding the way.  
  
"Well, _captain_?"  
  
Daichi rolled his eyes, more at Kuroo's obnoxious weight on the title than on the fact he lost this battle before it even begun.  
  
"Alright, but I want a scan of the planet once we get in orbit just to be safe, and so we don't waste any time in the middle of no where."  
  
"Aye aye Daichi!" Suga said, already moving to flick switches and plug in the course to the computer, and Kuroo laughing in the background.  
  
  
  
  
"What, the _fuck,_ is this?!"  
  
Shinkai shrugged, smiling around his power bar and infuriatingly unaffected by Arakita's outburst.  
  
"It's obviously a treasure map Yasutomo."  
  
Arakita snorts, kicking back in the rickety kitchen chair. "My ass it is! This ain't some old storybook, you don't just happen upon fucking treasure maps every day!" Arakita's attention quickly turns to Kinjou, who picks up the map to inspect it closer. "Kin-chan, just throw it out!"  
  
"Arakita." Kinjou interrupts, shifting his glance over to him. "If this map is accurate, we should follow it. You know we could use the money."  
  
Shinkai nods, cutting in to add onto the point ( _that bastard_ , Arakita thinks). "We could use some more repairs on Naga, plus imagine all the good food we could get."  
  
"You and the damn food!" But much to his dismay, Shinkai is right. They hadn't been getting jobs as good as they used to, the whole crew knows it. Even with the best pilots he knew seated as the captains of Naga, it didn't seem to the edge it once was. Competition was nasty.  
  
"Gimme the damn map!" He snapped, taking the map from Kinjou to look it over and tried not to scowl as Shinkai and Kinjou both grinned. Those bastards. "If this ends up being a trap or a damn waste of gas, it's coming out of your cuts I swear to god!"  
  
Shinkai laughed, his grin turning razor sharp. "Don't worry Yasutomo, we'll be there in no time."  
  
  
  
  
Preparation for jobs like these was always the most important step. When you go walking on unknown territory with information from an unknown source, the variables are astronomical. A good team had a checklist, of things that had to be set in order before a job was done, just to be ready for anything that happened.  
  
_1\. Given the environment, what kind of team do you want at your back?_  
  
"I think we should keep it small, the three of us only, no splitting up." Suga said.  
  
"No way." Kuroo chimed in, his chin on Suga's shoulder. "I mean, the three of us going in, fine, but I want a crew nearby as back up in case things go to hell."  
  
_2\. What kind of security do you expect? Do you need to be armed, and if yes, what kind of arms are best?_  
  
"I don't think we should bring any of the big guns." Shinkai said, and Arakita's chin jerked up off his shoulder.  
  
"Why the fuck not?! They could have a million guards down there for all we know!"  
  
"The treasure might be sensitive." Kinjou's voice made Arakita freeze in place. "We can't risk losing any of it because we got trigger happy."  
  
_3\. When you go, do you enter through the front door as a guest, or through the air ventilation like a thief?_  
  
Kuroo sighed, "This would be a lot easier if we knew if anyone actually lived in this weird house."  
  
"We could stake it out for a little while, just to get a feel for it?" Daichi said, a little too hopeful.  
  
"And lose our chance at getting the treasure at all?"  
  
"I didn't say for a week!" Daichi elbowed him in the ribs. "Just a few hours. At least then we'll know if anyone's home."  
  
_4\. Is the security around the treasure known? What do you do about it?_  
  
Shinkai rubbed his side, "It doesn't look like a vault, so that's good, but there's only the one door and no sign of windows."  
  
"We'll have to assume it's under some kind of security code lock," Kinjou said, taking a seat next to Shinkai with three steaming mugs of tea in hand, "I can take care of that."  
  
_5\. If the treasure is unknown, how much do you think you can bring back? How much are you willing to bring back?_  
  
"This better not be gold bars or books." Kuroo blew away the coiling steam from his cup. "Even if we all have our empty bags it still won't be enough."  
  
"Then we play that part by ear." Suga said, suddenly all grins. "After all, we're not keeping the Aegis that far away."  
  
Daichi couldn't help but chuckle. "You are a menace."  
  
_6\. Just as important as it is to have an entrance plan, you need to have an exit plan._  
  
"Menace, shmenace, I still say we bust out the closest set of windows and make a break for it."  
  
"That's only the escape route if things all go wrong." Kinjou replied as evenly as ever.  
  
Shinkai pulled out the map again, pointing to a small door. "There's an emergency exit door in the back of the building, a lot closer to the treasure room that only opens from the inside. That's our best bet."  
  
Kinjou and Arakita's eyes lit up. "Good catch, Shinkai."  
  
"Then we outta keep Naga in the east so she can get us from there."  
  
_7\. And most importantly, if all goes wrong, what's the word for escape?_  
  
"The same as ever?"  
  
All three nodded.  
  
_"Shit's hit the fan."_  
  
  
  
  
Despite the hours of planning, thought, and schemes that went into the job (plus the few rounds of break time, which is why they find themselves all looking at the feed together in bed), they realized that all of those ideas were moot as soon as they arrived on planet.  
  
"Of course there's a party at the mansion." Daichi looked completely unamused, his voice dryer than the Sahara.  
  
"That just makes getting in that much easier, don't be such a stick in the mud." Kuroo hopped out of bed and started rummaging through a trunk filled with clothing. "We'll just mosey on in with the other guests."  
  
"Definitely going as guests. I never want to sneak into a party as the wait staff ever again." All three of them shuddered remembering the job Suga was talking about that ended with various condiments all over Kuroo's hair, Daichi nearly breaking his ankle clean off, and Suga getting yelled at for twenty minutes by some woman about the correct way how to pour wine. "Let's just keep it simple. Business associates, heard about this through a friend down the grapevine."  
  
"Aw, but Suga, I was looking forward to being your date tonight!"  
  
"Oh Kuroo, I know, but another night." Suga cooed, matching Kuroo's naturally over-dramatic flare. "Besides, then we'd leave poor Daichi out."  
  
"Tsk," Kuroo sighed, leaning back against Suga, "But Daichi just isn't as much fun as you are, and look at him, already worrying too much about how we're going to escape with all our treasure."  
  
"I am not!" Daichi sputtered, obviously lying.  
  
“Nothing about our escape changes.” Suga's voice snaps back into seriousness, “The Aegis will be right there, and the crew is nearby. We will be fine.”  
  
  
  
  
“We are fucked.”  
  
“Yasutomo, come on,” Shinkai tried to chuckle, to keep the tone light. “This is our best way in.” He hoped saying it again would convince himself too.  
  
“No one questions the staff.” Kinjou added. “As long as we all keep our cool, we can maneuver around the entire building without anyone thinking twice. We could even make out with the treasure without the host knowing what we've done.”  
  
“You better be right about this Kin-chan.” Arakita grumbled, but Kinjou paid him little heed. If they were going to do this, they had to go in now.  
  
As anticipated, no one was checking identification for the staff, and the three of them moved into the kitchen without anyone batting an eyelash. Before they knew it, trays of food were being shoved into their hands and they were shooed out into the gardens.  
  
“Ah, the party is outside?” Shinkai asked a younger girl, far shorter than him with pretty blond hair.  
  
“Of course? Weren't you at the meeting earlier...?”  
  
“Ah, I must not have been paying attention.” Shinkai gave her his best smile and that seemed to work. But As soon as she turned her back Shinkai frowned. Outside meant they were still sneaking into the house in the end. Great. They might even stick out more as waiters. He let out a small sigh, shooting a glance at Kinjou. He hardly seemed phased at the news, which was hopefully a good sign.  
  
Or not. It was hard to tell with Kinjou sometimes.  
  
Either way, Shinkai had a plate full of deviled eggs, and he had to at least look like he was doing his job if they were going to make this plan work at all.  
  
He approached one of the guests standing alone at a small table a few steps away, holding out the tray. “Good evening sir, would like a--” Shinkai's voice stuttered as the man turned around, Shinkai registering that silver hair and the single beauty mark below his eye. If this is who Shinkai thinks he is, they're in deep shit. “a bite to eat?”  
  
“Oh! How kind of you.” The man smiles sweetly, but it doesn't hide how his eyes give him a once over, settling on his face and his eyes start going wide too. Double shit.  
  
“I hope you enjoy the gardens tonight, they're quite beautiful.” Shinkai smiles back, wondering if he can gather any useful information out of him.  
  
“Ah, yes! I had no idea they were so large, or that the weather would be good enough for such a thing.”  
  
“Oh, were you expecting the party to be in the house?”  
  
The man flinched. Bingo. “Isn't that were most people want to hold their parties?”  
  
“Well, not if they're worried about the state of their things, I suppose.” Shinkai watched as brown eyes darted to the left like he was looking for something. But just as quickly did they look back at Shinkai, holding his stare.  
  
“That's fair enough, but unfortunately, I wouldn't really know.” He chuckled, slowly standing up as he popped one of the snacks off the plate into his mouth. “I'm sure since you work here, you would have a far better idea about things like that.”  
  
“I certainly hope so.”  
  
“Well then, it was nice to talk to you, but I do have to attend to other things.”  
  
“Of course.” Shinkai said with a little bow, stepping aside and watching the man move. He strolled easily across the gardens, toward a much taller man whose hair looked a little too unruly to fit in. Shinkai tapped the communicator by his ear, flicking it on for Kinjou and Arakita to hear.  
  
“I think Yasutomo was right.”  
  
And Arakita groaned, as if to say, why me?  
  
  
Kuroo initially thought nothing of Suga hooking his arms around his an Daichi's, or of the way he dragged them aside to a quieter part of the garden. Not until he got a better look of Suga's distressed expression.  
  
“We need to move right now.”  
  
Kuroo and Daichi's eyebrows shot right up. “Isn't it too soon? Like, we've only been here half an hour too soon?”  
  
“No, you don't understand, there's another team here!”  
  
“So?” Kuroo sighed, “Daichi's right, for once, and we can take another team.”  
  
He ignored Daichi's scowl for the way Suga shook his head. “I was talking to one of the waiters, and it's definitely that demon pilot from the Naga.”  
  
“There's no way they could be there, right Daichi?”  
  
But Daichi wasn't looking at him, he was looking right at Suga with his lips pulled tight. “Are you sure?”  
  
Suga nodded. “Positive.”  
  
“Alright then.” Daichi ran his hand through his hair and stood up a little straighter. “We better get moving. Suga, you have everything we need already right?”  
  
“Wait--”  
  
“Of course I do, what do you take me for?”  
  
“Good. Kuroo, come with me.”  
  
“Seriously?!” But Kuroo's protest was completely lost. How Suga and Daichi managed to do this, almost every time, confused him to no end. They had some kind of special wavelength that took them from 0 to 60 in a flash when thigs came down to it, and Kuroo was left scrambling up after them.  
  
Daichi dragged Kuroo around to the one entrance opened to the public for bathrooms, and down the hall to the alarm triggered door. Suga was no where to be seen, probably hiding for a chance to ambush.  
  
“Kiss me.”  
  
“Wha--” Kuroo tried to ask, but Daichi was kissing him first, nipping at his lip and running his hands over his shoulders and into thick hair. It was rough, and Kuroo went with it completely. He was more than willing to stop thinking about the job for ten seconds if it meant having Daichi kiss him senseless in all the ways he liked.  
  
“Hey, what are you two-- oh, jeez, come on.”  
  
Daichi laughed, pulling away and only then did Kuroo notice the way they had pressed the door open. “Oops, sorry sir, we just, you know.” He spared a sheepish glance up at Kuroo, and oh, he knew a page right out of Suga's book when he saw it.  
  
The guard shook his head and turned around back down the hall, obviously not paid enough to deal with drunken guests making out in the house. “God, you need to bring out this side of you more often.”  
  
Daichi made a motion over his shoulder, signaling for Suga to come down the hall behind them and through the opened door. “Maybe if we roll out of here in one piece with our treasure, you'll get to see it. Now come on.”  
  
Suga hummed behind them, pulling out his trusty taser and rolling up the sleeves of his jacket. “Next door we run into, I call dibs on being the drunk boyfriend.”  
  
  
  
  
As much as the three of them didn't want to play waiter, it turned out to have one incredible perk: the all access keycard. If Shinkai was correct (and by Kinjou's estimation, he usually was,) than they were competing for this treasure against the Aegis. If there was any doubts in Kinjou's mind about the nature of this treasure, they were gone now. There's no way both of them could be out here on a wild goose chase – something was here.  
  
Following the map, they were able to sneak almost three quarters through the house before they hit a door they couldn't access. “Arakita?”  
  
“Yeah yeah, I got this Kin-chan.” Arakita kneels down and dug out the tools hidden under his apron and in his pockets. “Just gimme, eh, fifteen seconds.”  
  
Kinjou and Shinkai nodded, standing guard while Arakita worked through the lock. He was a surprisingly talented hacker when he put his mind to it, a fact he found himself increasingly grateful for through these jobs. But something was off. Usually in jobs like this, there were guards everywhere, things to run and hide from. But so far the only guards they saw were just outside the house. It just didn't seem right.  
  
“Yosh!” Arakita's shout broke him out of his thought process, and the three of them followed him through the door.  
  
“Quiet Arakita.” Kinjou kept his voice steady smooth as ever, “We don't know what else is past these doors.”  
  
“Don't worry so much Shingo, this job is a breeze.”  
  
“Seriously Kin-chan, all we have to do is turn this corner--”  
  
“--and the room should be at the end of the hall.”  
  
Kinjou, Shinkai, and Arakita froze at the sound of new voice, and the sight of three new contenders for the magical secret prize, each one dressed to the nines.  
  
“Oi, isn't that the guy?!” Arakita shouted, pointing down the hall at the newcomers, “Shit, it really is those Aegis fuckers!”  
  
“Oh dear.” whispered Suga, looking at the completely bizarre situation they all now found themselves in. But Kinjou wouldn't be deterred from a little set back. This isn't as bad as running into guards, or anything like that.  
  
“It's fine you three, let's just move. We can't worry about them, all we have to do is get to that room first.”  
  
Kinjou didn't realize the mistake he had made by saying this so loudly, didn't realize that Arakita had made direct and strong eye contact with the tallest man in the room whose hair looked like it had been smished upwards from sleeping the wrong way. At least, not until the two of them started _running._  
  
“Kuroo!” Daichi shouted after him, and started running himself, and soon Suga joined after, blinking the surprise out of his face and gunning it.  
  
“Shit, Yasutomo!” Shinkai yelled, but Kinjou was already pounding pavement beneath his boots, running right after this said Kuroo and Arakita who were making incredible time down the hall, cutting corners and spewing insults and snide remarks at one another like it was going out of style. The only time they skidded to a stop was at the door. This one was new, made of some kind of thick glass with an elaborate panel to the side. This wasn't on the map.  
  
Arakita scowled, pulling his tools out once again. “Move outta the way you bedhead asswad, this is mine!”  
  
“I'm sorry, I don't speak dumbass, why don't you stand over there and think about how to translate it while I get in?”  
  
Kinjou rolled his eyes at the bickering, and oddly, Daichi echoed the sentiment. “Oh for the love of...”  
  
They caught glances, looked back at the door, and looked at each other again.  
  
It was only glass after all.  
  
Without another word the two men pulled out their guns and just shot the door out, leaving the other four pulling themselves aside for cover from the flying glass.  
  
And just like that, the race started anew, Kinjou and Daichi running down the hall to the last solid door, no way to shoot their way through, this time only Arakita and Kuroo (apparently) had to hack their way through.  
  
“That was awfully flashy Shingo, but I don't know if it was smart.” Shinkai said, his gun up looking back down the glass filled hall.  
  
“There's probably an alarm going to go off any second.” Sugawara added, nodding toward Shinkai.  
  
“I thought you were the one sooo confident with your escape--”  
  
_BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM_  
  
...plan.” Daichi finished, his voice dying in his throat. Stupid alarms, having to go off now, when they were so _close._  
  
“I GOT IT I GOT IT!”  
  
“NO WAY, MOVE!!”  
  
Kuroo and Arakita shoved each other through the now open door, the others rushing in and slamming the doors shut as fast as possible. It might not save them in the long run, but it's better protection than nothing.

  
  
“This better all be worth it.” Kinjou muttered under his breath, turning around to look inside the treasure room. They all fell silent for the briefest second, then:  
  
“What.” Suga, Shinkai, and Daichi all said in unison.  
  
Kinjou's mouth fell open at the sight - Kuroo and Arakita on their knees in the center of the room, surrounded entirely by _cats._  
  
“This is it. This is the best day of my life.” Kuroo said.  
  
“They're cats.” Suga said, awe struck. “This... this was the treasure?”  
  
“Not any cats!!” Arakita hissed, turning around and motioning at the room, “These are the super rare Sendo breed, oh my god, do you have any idea what these go for?! Oh my god, oh my god, _they are so cute--_ ”  
  
Kuroo reached out and pet one, looking like a man who just found god. “They are so soft. I want ten.”  
  


Shinkai and Suga were trying to hide their new fit of giggles, and Kinjou just shook his head as Daichi rubbed his temples. "We are not taking these cats. I don't care how much they're worth--"

"WE CAN'T SELL THEM!" Kuroo and Arakita shouted in unison, their arms now full of cats of a variety of colors and sizes.

"Ho boy..." Shinkai breathed out, his endearment toward the situation slowly disappearing out of his smile.

This was going to be one long trip back home.


End file.
